A friend of mine was in a long term relationship with someone for many years. They were even engaged with plans to get married. And then suddenly things changed. My friend’s girlfriend broke up with him and in sometime went on to marry another person.
My friend was pretty shattered by the whole experience. It was so intense that he used to feel her memory and her touch all the time. Even in his sleep and dreams. This can be very overwhelming for a person who is going through it and it blocks them from living their day to day life effectively because an ENORMOUS amount of energy which can be used to contribute to life and make a difference in the world is just frozen, inaccessible and locked up. This is not a small loss to either yourself or the world in general.
The first thing you need to realize is that it is POSSIBLE to come out of your despair no matter how hard the experience of breaking up has been for you. You must not lose heart and give up. This is CRUCIAL.
Another idea to consider is that life is a journey of ups and downs. For most people that is. Almost everyone I know has experienced the joys as well as the heartbreaks of life in some area or the other. For some it’s a relationship whose end has caused this pain, for others it might be a career that’s not working out leaving them confused about what to pursue, while for some people might be going through a personal bereavement of a close family member, a cherished pet or a friend.
Life has some tough experiences built into it as it’s very fabric and the sooner we accommodate this fact into our map, the more wiser we will be in our conduct of life and the more peace of mind we can have.
Apart from these cognitive understandings we need some real world skills in processing our emotions that we can actually APPLY to difficult circumstances and to come out of the situation more stronger, more resilient, with a quiet, subtle power that’s charismatic in a stealthy way😉
These skills when applied, literally feel like a huge burden has been lifted of your chest and shoulders. They bring us to a place of a quiet and powerful neutrality.
From here you can start re building your life. Brick by brick. Drop by drop. One step at a time. Think of it as the foundation on which your other external actions that you take toward your recovery will be based upon. These external actions could be regular exercise, Yoga, spending time with your loved ones and close friends, focusing on your work and career, professional development, making a difference in whatever way you can to make the world a little better, your personal hobbies and of course engaging with attractive women in the world.
And yes, this foundation in skill with emotion is also one of the really subtle attraction skills. It’s not loud like six pack abs or enormous money. But because it is subtle and quiet it is enormously POWERFUL and it’s not even dependepent on external conditions and available to you anytime, anywhere.